Becoming Human
by Mats Forsen
Summary: Ayanami-centered fic. Spoilers for entire series.


[Fanfic][NGE][Spoiler] Becoming Human - Prologue  
  
______________________  
Becoming Human  
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯  
Author: Mats Forsén (garnax@lysator.liu.se)  
  
(Formerly named "Ayanami wa hito ni naru")  
  
This story is set in the 22nd episode. It diverges exactly at the  
middle of the episode when the angel appears. This is my first  
attempt at a fanfic so C&C is greatly appreciated...   
  
Seeing as there doesn't seem to be any clearcut answer in NGE as to  
how Ayanami Rei works, especially with regards to the transfer of  
soul/memory between clones I've written down how I see it and  
applied that to the fanfic, read at the end of the text if interested.  
  
Previous chapters and my other stories can be found at:  
http://www.lysator.liu.se/~garnax/fanfics.html  
  
Neon Genesis Evangelion and everything isn't mine. Don't sue me.  
  
Prologue: Revision 0.4, 1999-10-23  
Chapter 01: Revision 0.21, 1999-10-25  
  
Thanks go to: Likatare, people on IRC who discussed NGE with me  
  
---------  
  
Prologue: The Beginning  
  
---------  
  
The personnel in the control room looked up at the big viewscreen.  
The sighting of the 15:th Angel had just been confirmed, but it was  
just hanging there in orbit silently like a stalking predator. Misato  
thought the whole situation over and wondered out loud.  
  
"So, does that mean that it's looking for a place to land? Or  
that it's going to destroy us from up there?"  
  
Makoto didn't need to think long before glancing back at her and  
voicing his opinion.  
  
"We can't attack it easily from this position."  
  
Misato nods and continues that line of thought.  
  
"Unless it comes into our range, there's nothing we can do."  
  
She pauses for a moment before saying:  
  
"The EVAs can't destroy an enemy that's in orbit."  
  
She thinks hard and runs a few plans through her mind before coming  
up with the only alternative that even has a possibility of succeeding.  
She glances over at Maya and asks:   
  
"What's Rei's status?"  
  
Maya answers promptly:  
  
"She and Unit 00 are both in good condition."  
  
Misato acknowledges her and barks out in a commanding voice:   
  
"Sortie Unit 00. Prepare for extreme long range firing. Unit 02,  
Asuka, be ready to sortie as her back up."  
  
Inside her EVA Asuka has a surprised look on her face.  
  
"Back up? Me? For Unit 00?"  
  
Misato responds cooly with:  
  
"That's right, take the rear guard position."  
  
Asuka is starting to get angry and growls:  
  
"You can't be serious..."  
  
Just as she is about to blurt out something in the heat of anger she  
pauses and gets a scared look on her face as she suddenly realizes  
this might be the beginning of them replacing her as a pilot.  
Her face runs through the gamut of emotions from pure rage that  
they dare question her superiority to the fearful doubt that  
she might actually be bad enough to warrant it. After cooling off  
she finally resigns herself to follow orders no matter how  
much she might hate them so that she doesn't give them any further  
reason to remove her.   
  
She glares mightily into the video pickup and angrily chokes out:  
  
"Hai."  
  
Misato isn't fazed at all but just nods her head and commands:  
  
"EVA Unit 00 launch!"  
  
------  
  
The blue EVA Unit 00 is standing still in the rain as a huge rifle  
rises from a hidden compartment in the ground. Rei maneuvers her EVA  
into taking the rifle and starts to aim at the target. Although the  
Angel is far out of visual range the EVA has superior aim so she  
lets the computer handle it.  
  
Shigeru gives a status update over the intercom:  
  
"The target is still out of range."  
  
Predictably Rei doesn't react at all and just keeps waiting for the  
rifle to lock onto the Angel. Just as the crosshairs start to line up  
a bright ray of light strikes down from the Angel at the unsuspecting  
EVA and pilot.   
  
Inside NERV headquarters alarms go off and the personnel rush to find  
out what the ray is and how to counter it.  
  
Misato looks stricken and cries out:  
  
"The Angel has a particle beam weapon?!"  
  
Shigeru checks his monitor and responds with:  
  
"Negative, there are no thermal emissions being detected."  
  
Maya gasps in surprise at what she sees on her monitor and informs  
the others with a desperate voice:  
  
"We've got abnormal readings in her psychograph! Mental  
contamination is about to begin!"  
  
Ritsuko can only stand and look amazed as she tries to figure out  
how that could be possible.  
  
"The Angel's making a psychic attack? The Angels don't understand  
our minds that well!"  
  
------  
  
Inside the EVA Rei is feeling a most strange sensation. It is so  
distracting that her finger squeezes the trigger prematurely. The   
rifle fires but the shots are too low and miss the Angel.  
  
The feeling intensifies and she somehow senses that she is no longer  
alone in the EVA. Curiously (or as curious as Rei can get) she glances  
around the entry plug but cannot see anyone else present.  
  
The feeling is not unlike that which she gets when she tries to sync  
with her EVA. Therefore she rationalizes that there must be someone   
else trying to interface with her mind.  
  
She is so puzzled by this sensation that she doesn't answer the frantic  
hails from the control room.  
  
------  
  
Inside NERV headquarters everything is in chaos with people trying  
to figure out what is happening. The ray didn't seem to be affecting  
Unit 00 much other than that Rei had stopped answering.   
  
Looking over Makoto's shoulder she asks:  
  
"What's the result of the beam analysis?"  
  
Makoto answers:  
  
"It's an energy oscillation pattern on a visible wavelength. It's  
similar to an AT Field, but we don't know much more."  
  
------  
  
The presence in her mind starts showing her pieces of her memory.  
Puzzled at this behavior she wonders if it is trying to communicate  
with her. The memories become more and more vivid and increase in  
intensity so much that it is hard for her to focus on reality.  
  
She sees in her mind a place she will never forget, it is the room where  
her first incarnation died. The scene plays out for her as she remembers  
it.   
  
The memory of Ritsuko's mother slowly squeezing the life out of her is  
very realistic, the pure hatred in her eyes is unmistakable. Rei starts  
having trouble to breathe because the feeling of her throat being crushed  
is overwhelming.  
  
If this was anyone else than Rei that person would probably be  
screaming insanely at reliving such traumatic memories, but all  
she felt was a mild nausea and confusion. She couldn't understand  
why the entity in her mind was showing her that memory, what purpose  
could it have in communication?  
  
Somehow sensing that it wasn't having the desired effect, the Angel  
tried even harder in searching for a memory to traumatize the pilot.  
It tried flashing memories of Shinji insulting his father and Asuka  
slapping her for being a doll but nothing seemed to have any effect.  
  
Rei watched the memories flash by in confusion, she recognized that  
they were not 'happy' memories, as much as she could apply the term  
to herself. She had been told repeatedly by commander Ikari that  
emotions were unnecessary and that the project was more important  
so she had never taken them into consideration.   
  
------  
  
People inside the NERV control room continued trying to analyze the ray.  
Maya thought she heard Rei mutter something low under her breath so she  
increased the volume until they could make out what it was.  
  
Slowly they began to make out what she was saying:  
"What is the purpose of this?.... Why are you showing me these  
memories?...".   
  
Misato kept her cool exterior while burning with fear for the Child inside.  
  
------  
  
The Angel would have screamed in frustration if it had been capable of it.  
It desperately searched for anything that could have an effect on the  
strange lilim piloting the copy of Lilith. It couldn't understand why it  
didn't have any effect? Had it been completely misinformed as to how the  
lilims think?   
  
It examined the lilim harder and noticed something that had escaped  
its notice before, probably since it would never have expected it.  
The lilim seemed to have a connection to Lilith! It actually seemed like  
the lilim was using part of Lilith's soul. No wonder that ordinary   
lilim emotions were beyond this particular lilim.   
  
Now that it knew what to look for it gathered up its mental powers  
and prepared to make a thrust at that link.  
  
------  
  
Rei had been getting more and more confused and couldn't understand  
how she was supposed to react to this playback of her memories.   
Suddenly the memories stopped and she wondered if it was over.   
  
Within seconds however she felt an incredibly excruciating pain in  
her mind. She screamed out her pain as loud as she could. It felt  
like someone was ripping her life essence from her body. The pain   
just kept going on and on and she felt herself growing numb.  
  
------  
  
In the NERV control room everyone paused as Maya suddenly exclaimed  
excitedly: "Mental contamination is stopping!"  
  
Just as Misato was getting her hopes up her ears were assailed by  
an incredibly high scream that sounded like someone having their  
body crushed slowly while being immersed in acid. Her ears were ringing  
with the sound as someone turned down the volume on the speakers.  
  
Glancing up at the main viewer Misato could feel the blood freezing  
in her veins as she saw Rei spasm uncontrollably while screaming her  
lungs out.  
  
Looking over at Maya she screams out:  
  
"How's Rei?"  
  
Maya answers with a panicked voice:  
  
"Her situation is critical! The mental contamination is crossing  
her ego borderline!"  
  
---------  
  
Chapter 1 - Revelations  
  
---------  
  
Rei wakes up with a start. She opens her eyes but closes them   
instantly as bright light assaults them mercilessly. Blinking her eyes  
to accustom them to the light she starts to take in her surroundings.  
  
She seems to be lying down since she is now looking up at an unfamiliar  
ceiling. Raising her head she sees that she is lying down on a normal  
bed with white sheets. She notices an IV hookup in her left arm which  
is dripping some colorless liquid into her bloodstream. Sensors are  
affixed on her chest that lead to a beeping machine she tentatively  
identifies as a cardiograph. The room she is in is plain and only  
contains her bed and some built-in closets on one wall. One other  
wall has two big windows leading outside. All the evidence leads her  
to the only plausible conclusion, she is in a hospital room.  
  
The room looks big enough for three more beds but she is alone, probably  
for security reasons. She glances out the window and notices that the  
sun is shining bright from a cloudless sky. Since the last she can  
recollect is rain she surmises that some time has passed since she  
came to be here.  
  
Wait, why is she here? Her last memory is that of excruciating pain  
while being subjected to some sort of ray from the 15:th Angel. Since  
she is still here she has to guess that she either survived or that  
another clone has been awakened. Since everything else is also here  
the only conclusion can be that the Angel was stopped.  
  
She checks herself more thoroughly but can find no signs of any  
physical damages. Her head starts to spin though from all the moving  
around and she soon collapses back into sleep.  
  
-------  
  
An indeterminable time later Rei slowly wakes up to the sound of  
someone calling her name out softly. Opening her eyes all she sees   
is a blue blur in front of her face, however it quickly solidifies  
into the face of Major Katsuragi Misato. Yawning a bit Rei stretches  
and sits up. Facing Misato she looks into her eyes as is her custom.  
  
Misato stopped calling Rei's name when she started stirring and  
looks down at her concernedly.  
  
"Rei? Are you feeling alright?"  
  
After a few moments thought Rei answers this with her usual eloquence.  
  
"Hai."  
  
Rei can't help feeling that there is something wrong though,  
something... missing... something... different. Seeing the  
confusion on Rei's face Misato can't help but ask:  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
Rei thinks some more about it but can't identify what she is   
feeling. There is definitely a sense of loss, but she doesn't  
seem to be missing anything. She considers simply ignoring  
the question but since Misato is her superior officer she has  
to be informed.  
  
"I feel strange."  
  
Misato blinks at this unexpected answer and puzzles it over for  
a while. She hesitates a bit before asking:  
  
"How do you mean, strange?"  
  
Rei tries to examine the feeling but doesn't understand it. She  
can't remember ever feeling that way before and can't find any  
words to describe it.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
Misato hmms and thinks it over.  
  
'Might be a mild concussion.. strange.. the physical we performed  
while she was asleep didn't point at anything like that. I'll have  
to have Ritsuko run more thorough checks.'  
  
"What is the last thing you remember?"  
  
Rei doesn't have to think long before framing her answer.  
  
"Pain. In the EVA."  
  
Misato looks relieved at that and explains the situation.  
  
"That is not to be unexpected. After Asuka killed the angel we  
found you comatose in the entry plug. You have been here in the  
hospital for over two weeks in a coma."  
  
She glances down at Rei to see how she is reacting but can't see  
any change. She sighs and wonders what, if anything, can get this girl  
to react.  
  
"Shinji and Asuka have been coming to visit you every day before school."  
  
Misato notices that Rei's eyes widen a little at the mention of Shinji  
and can't help but grin internally. She was going to have to have a chat  
with Shinji about this..  
  
Rei doesn't understand the feeling she got when Misato mentioned Shinji,  
it was a different feeling than the other feeling though.  
  
'Feelings are just too confusing, I should ignore them as commander  
Ikari said. But this is about Shinji, and he is Ikari's son.. I'll  
just forget these feelings for now...'.  
  
Thus putting her mind at rest Rei's mind turns to more important matters.  
  
"How is Unit 00?"  
  
Misato is taken aback by the question but replies slowly.  
  
"It was unharmed by the Angel, the attack was purely mental. You know,  
it didn't seem to be affecting you at first, but then you suddenly  
started screaming and didn't stop until just before the Angel died.  
Do you remember anything?"  
  
Rei nods.  
  
"I think it was trying to communicate."  
  
Misato blinks.  
  
"Why do you think that?"  
  
Rei searches her memory and tries to recall what observations lead to  
that conclusion before.  
  
"It was showing me memories from my past."  
  
"What memories?"  
  
Rei is about to respond when she recalls the standing order from  
commander Ikari not to reveal any information about her rather 'unique'  
status. But Major Katsuragi is a superior officer and she is required  
to answer all questions. Since commander Ikari's orders are more  
important she is forced to respond evasively.  
  
"I cannot say."  
  
Misato peers down at Rei with an unbelieving stare.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I cannot say."  
  
"Do you remember what memories it showed you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then why can't you say what memories it is?"  
  
"I cannot say."  
  
Misato groans audibly.  
  
'Getting answers from Rei is like pulling nails out of a board..  
barehanded.'  
  
Seeing as this line of questioning wasn't leading anywhere she tries  
another slant.  
  
"What types of memories was it?"  
  
Rei thinks it over.  
  
"I believe they could be called unpleasant ones."  
  
Misato looks down at Rei quizzically but decides to give up for now.  
There would be time later for a more thorough interview. With her  
job done her professionalism slips and she looks worriedly at Rei.  
Seeing as how Rei just lies there she decides to try to cheer her up.  
She aims her winning smile at her.  
  
"Well.. You seem all better now, I bet you will be up and running  
in no time!"  
  
Rei just stares back at her.  
  
"It will be good to return to my duties."  
  
Misato groans again and sighs.  
  
'You just can't figure out this girl.. I can't help but wonder how  
Gendo raised her...'  
  
She looks down again at Rei again and notices that she has fallen back  
and is staring right up at the ceiling. She reflexively glances   
upwards to check what Rei is looking at but sees nothing out of the  
ordinary. She clears her throat and starts to talk.  
  
"You should know what happened while you were out cold. After you  
started screaming Shinji begged to be released to come help you  
but Gendo refused."  
  
Misato frowns at that but continues.  
  
"Instead he sent Asuka down into Terminal Dogma with Unit 02 to get  
some lance.. The lance of.. uhh.. "  
  
Misato racks her brains trying to recall the name.  
  
'Let's see.. it was a kind silly name for a lance.. eh.. the long  
lance.. no... the lance of..'  
  
Rei unexpectedly looks at her and states:  
  
"The Lance of Longinus".  
  
Misato stares at her in shock and asks:   
  
"How did you know? Not even I had clearance enough to know about it  
and I'm the head of operations!"  
  
Rei shifts her gaze back to the ceiling.  
  
"I cannot say"  
  
Misato sighs.  
  
'Yet another secret I'm kept in the dark of.'  
  
"After she retrieved the Lance of Longinus she returned to the surface  
and threw it straight through the Angel completely destroying it."  
  
Misato's mind gets sidetracked as she thinks how good that was for Asuka.  
She finally killed an angel all on her own, one which even 'Wonder Girl'  
had failed with. It had raised her spirits immensely and she was almost  
back to her old sync ratio. It was good to see her out of her depression.  
Putting those thoughts aside she continues:  
  
"You actually stopped screaming just a little while before the Angel  
was killed, we still haven't figured that part out. After it died  
Asuka brought your EVA down into the base where we extracted your  
entry plug and you've been lying here since..."  
  
Misato glances down at Rei who has closed her eyes and wonders if she   
is still listening.  
  
"Although we can't find anything wrong with you Ritsuko wants to  
keep you here for a while to run a few tests. That OK?"  
  
Rei sleepily agrees.  
  
"Hai."  
  
It doesn't take long before dizziness overcomes Rei and she falls asleep  
again. Misato stays and looks at her for a while before finally shrugging  
and returning to her duties.   
  
-------  
  
Rei was startled awake by a most curious sensation. Looking around she  
could ascertain that she wasn't in the hospital any more but was standing  
in her plugsuit outside in Tokyo-3. She didn't get time to examine anything  
more before she heard a familiar voice speak up from a few paces away.  
Glancing in that direction she could indeed see the back of The Second  
Child.  
  
"Oh, well... Taking matters into his own hands, defying Operations. He  
got what he asked for."  
  
Rei can't help but feel that this has happened already. She glances  
around and sees Unit 00 and 02 standing not too far away but can find no  
sign of Unit 01. Turning back to Asuka she observes her as she continues  
ranting.  
  
"Just because he got a little better score than mine, he had to go show   
me how it ought to be done."  
  
Asuka laughs and turns around.  
  
"What a dumkopf!"  
  
Rei started feeling this odd sensation in her chest as Asuka kept   
bad-mouthing Shinji. Stepping up to her she looked her in the eyes.  
  
Asuka seems taken aback but retaliates quickly.  
  
"What? Are my comments about Shinji pissing you off?"  
  
Rei wonders if that is what she is feeling. Getting a strange feeling  
of deja vu she asks back:  
  
"Do you pilot Eva just for the praise of others?"  
  
Asuka angrily retorts:  
  
"No! I don't need anybody's approval but my own!"  
  
Rei felt the strange feeling growing stronger and was at a loss at what  
to do. Just as she was thinking of saying something back she was  
distracted by a loud noise. Glancing up into the sky she could see  
hundreds of planes converging on their position. Rei starts to feel  
perplexed.  
  
'Wait.. this isn't what should happen.. right? Wasn't I supposed to  
be in my EVA for this?'  
  
Rei keeps looking on in confusion as the planes arrive and hundreds of  
N2 bombs start falling towards the Sea of Dirac. Her throat constricts  
as the bombs fall right into the black emptiness. The next thing she   
sees is the shadow in the sky starting to crack. Soon blood starts  
to pour out of the wounds. She gets a strange feeling in her heart as  
she sees Unit 01 fall out in several pieces. Her gaze locks on to the  
head where she can plainly see a huge gash where the entry plug is  
supposed to be.  
  
'No.. No.. This isn't what happened... Shinji didn't die.. Shinji   
isn't replaceable.. no..'  
  
-------  
  
Rei could feel someone shaking her and opened her eyes. She looked   
around dazedly but she seemed to be back in the hospital room. Bending  
over her shaking her was Shinji. Seeing she had woken up he blushed  
and took a few fast steps backwards.  
  
"Gomen! You.. seemed to have a bad dream.. and I.. just couldn't  
stand seeing you.. like that.. and.. and.."  
  
Rei doesn't understand how this could be, one moment she was talking  
to Major Katsuragi, the next she was battling the 12:th Angel and then  
she was back in the hospital room with Shinji. Noticing something   
Shinji was saying she asked out loud:  
  
"A.. dream?"  
  
Shinji stopped trying to sink into the floor and looked at Rei   
curiously.  
  
"Yeah.. a bad dream by the looks of it.. You were shaking  
and whispering 'No'..."  
  
Rei wrestles with the concept of dreaming, she knows what it is but  
it has never happened to her before. Meanwhile Shinji works up the  
courage to walk back to the bed and looks down at Rei.  
  
"What was the dream about? Talking about helps sometime..."  
  
Rei felt another of those strange emotions at hearing Shinji feel  
interested in her well being, not even commander Ikari did that. She  
was after all replaceable. As she thought of telling Shinji about her  
dream she could feel her face growing hot, most peculiar.  
  
"It was... about you.."  
  
Shinji gulps at this and looks around for a quick exit.  
  
'Yeesh.. she was having a nightmare about me? What did I do wrong?'   
  
Gathering his wits he managed to stutter out:  
  
"M-m-me? What about me?"  
  
Silently he was bracing himself for the worst.  
  
"You died."  
  
Shinji had expected a lot worse and only managed to blurt out:  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"In my... dream.. you died battling the 12:th angel. It felt.. strange."  
  
Shinji who had managed to get himself together some asked softly:  
  
"You were scared because I died?"  
  
Rei thinks back and tries to imagine what feeling that could be.. It  
had felt like someone had taken a cold hand and squeezed her heart..  
But that was just silly, it must have been her imagination. Setting  
her mind firmly back in its place she said:  
  
"I don't know.. It didn't feel.. good?"  
  
Shinji blinks at this.  
  
"You're asking me?"  
  
Rei nods.  
  
"I've never felt that feeling before, it confuses me.... When you  
died.. it felt like.. part of me died too.."  
  
Shinji reddens visibly.  
  
'Does this mean.. she cares for me?'  
  
Rei continues:  
  
"It felt strange.. I remember I wished I had died instead, since  
I am replaceable and you are not..."  
  
Shinji gasps at this and grabs Rei by the shoulders.  
  
"No! You are not replaceable! Whoever told you that was wrong!"  
  
Rei is taken aback by his outburst. She knows she was replaceable since  
commander Ikari has told her so, why was Shinji saying something else?  
Confused by this she could only come to the conclusion that Shinji   
also was confused and had understood things wrong. She would have to  
correct him later sometime, for now she would just play along.  
  
"Arigatou, Shinji-kun."  
  
Shinji noticed he was holding Rei and quickly removed his hands while  
blushing furiously. Just as he was going to apologize for it the door  
flew open. From just outside the door we hear in a loud voice:  
  
"Baka Shinji! Are you drooling over her unconscious body again!?"  
  
Shinji immediately reddens even more and starts stammering out   
apologies to left and right. Entering through the door with an  
imperious gait we see The Second Child, Soryuu Asuka Langley, in  
all her glory. Her gaze narrows as she looks at the conscious Rei.  
  
"So.. You survived? No doubt thanks to my awesome rescue."  
  
Asuka laughs heartily and walks up to Rei and Shinji.   
  
"Wonder Girl and the Invincible Shinji.. hah.. not so mighty now are  
we? Couldn't even take out a little Angel.. hmpf.. I don't know why  
I consort with the likes of you.."  
  
Shinji starts to protest futilely while Rei just looks at Asuka without  
any noticeable reaction. Asuka notices this and sneers in her direction.  
  
"What? The little doll got broken? Can't talk?"  
  
Rei starts feeling that same emotion she felt in her dream.  
  
"I am not a doll."  
  
Asuka hmpfs.  
  
"Really? hmpf.. You'd still carry out any order from Gendo wouldn't  
you?"  
  
"Hai."  
  
"Hah! Just like a doll.. can't think for yourself.. oh well.. fun as  
it is to hold a conversation with you time is running away.. come  
on Shinji.. Time to go to school!"  
  
With that Asuka starts dragging Shinji towards the door while he   
kept looking at Rei and mouthing apologies. Soon enough the both of  
them were outside and had closed the door.  
  
Rei blinks at the proceedings and decides to sleep some more to  
recuperate.  
  
-------  
  
Ritsuko walks down the hallway reading the results of the physical  
done on Rei. Nothing was out of the ordinary that she could see but  
she had the nagging feeling that something was different. She would  
just have to run a complete set of tests with a simulated EVA.  
  
Realizing where she was she thought of visiting Rei in person.  
  
'Misato said she was awake.. so she should be good enough for a few  
tests...'  
  
Heading in a different direction she continues reading the report and  
starts making a mental checklist of tests to run. Noticing she had  
walked too far in her musings she doubles back a few doors and arrived  
at the room Rei was in.  
  
'Hmm.. do I knock or don't I...'  
  
Deciding to play it nice after a few moments she reaches out and  
knocks on the door. After a few seconds she hears shuffling from  
inside. Finally Rei's voice is heard through the door.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"It's me, Ritsuko. Are you ready for some tests?"  
  
"Hai."  
  
"Be at the simulation room in 20 minutes."  
  
"Hai."  
  
Her mission complete Ritsuko continues on to the simulation room   
to set things up.  
  
------  
  
Rei sits up in the bed and glances around for her clothes. Not  
seeing them anywhere she gets off the bed and starts searching the  
closets.  
  
Her legs feel a bit wobbly for the first few steps but she straightens  
up and walks normally after a few paces. Searching the few closets  
that are in the room she finds a hospital gown which she dons.  
  
She can't find her passcard anywhere and she knows there are several   
security stations between her present location and the simulation room.  
While obviously not possible without her passcard, she must be there  
within 15 minutes. Mulling it over for a bit she decides that she  
requires an escort. Taking a final look around the room she leaves  
through the door.  
  
------  
  
Private Shigeru looks to both sides of the door he is guarding before  
putting his machine gun against the wall. Still glancing left and right  
he takes out a cigarette pack and extracts a cigarette. With shaking   
hands he takes out a lighter and starts to light it.  
  
'Damn.. I can't wait any longer.. Better finish it quick before  
the sarge notices it..'  
  
So intent is he on his little misdemeanor that he doesn't notice Rei  
softly padding up to his back. He slowly takes a long drag from his  
cigarette.  
  
"Excuse me."  
  
Shigeru chokes on the smoke and tries to hide the cigarette within his  
hand as he turns around. In his minds eye he can see how the sarge   
assigns him toilet-scrubbing duty for smoking on watch. What he didn't  
expect was a 15 year old albino girl. Still wheezing from the smoke  
he tries to make head or tails of the situation.  
  
'Let's see.. we're deep in a high security military facility.. I   
was just caught smoking on the watch.. However, I was caught by   
a little girl.. Wait.. wait.. a little girl?'  
  
He gives the girl another look. She is dressed in a hospital gown  
and nothing more. Unexpectedly she pipes up:  
  
"I require an escort to the EVA simulation room."  
  
Shigeru blinks.  
  
'What? Not only is the girl here but she's ordering me around? Who  
does she think.. wait.. she isn't of the pilots is she?'  
  
He clears his throat and decides to ask it.  
  
"You're not one of the pilots are you?"  
  
The girl nods affirmatively.  
  
'Oh shit.. wait.. should I just take her there.. or salute her... or...'  
  
Having no idea how to handle the situation he chooses the safe option.  
  
"Hang on.. I have to clear this with command.."  
  
He fishes out his intercom and calls for Major Katsuragi. Within moments  
her voice can be heard.  
  
"Yes? What is it?"  
  
"I've got a little girl here who says she's a pilot. She wants an  
escort to the EVA simulation room.. what should I do?"  
  
"Hand the intercom to her."  
  
Shigeru shrugs and does as asked. The girl murmurs a few words into the  
intercom intermittently and finally hands it back to him. The major's  
voice soon sounds in his ears.  
  
"Okay.. You're to take her there immediately.. She has lost her passcard  
so you are to take her through all security stations.. I'll assign a  
guard to replace you at your position.. Is that clear?"  
  
"Yes, Ma'am!"  
  
Shigeru turns off the intercom and looks over at the girl. She is  
already walking down the corridor in the right direction. Picking up his  
machine gun he hurries up to her and takes a position behind her to the  
right. The girl seems to know where she is going so he follows quietly.  
  
'Phew.. at least she won't report my smoking to the sarge..'  
  
-------  
  
Ritsuko glances at her watch, two seconds left until Rei should be here.  
Glancing up at the door she notices that it opens at just the right time  
and Rei steps in.  
  
"Get into your plugsuit and enter simulation entry plug #1."  
  
"Hai."  
  
Rei walks over to the door leading to the changing rooms. Within a few  
minutes she is fully decked and sitting in the entry plug. She closes  
her eyes and prepares for the standard harmonics test.  
  
After about half an hour of testing Ritsuko can find no major anomalies.  
Her sync ratio was down a few percent but that could be attributed to  
the traumatic events the last time she was in an EVA. She considers the  
next step and contacts Rei in the simulation plug.  
  
"Rei, I'll schedule a test with Unit 00 for tomorrow. Be here at   
10 AM, you are exempt from school tomorrow."  
  
Inside the plug Rei opens her eyes.  
  
"Hai."  
  
"Now get on out of here.."  
  
"Hai."  
  
Minutes later Rei walks out of the simulation plug and makes her course  
to the changing room.  
  
------  
  
Rei enters the changing room and heads towards her locker. She opens it  
and notices that the only clothes she has is the hospital gown from   
earlier. After looking at it for a few moments she decides to check  
the other lockers to see if there is anything else for her to wear.  
  
As she is about to open her fourth locker someone enters the changing  
room, glancing over her shoulder she notices that it is commander Ikari  
and brightens up.  
  
"Hello Rei, how are you feeling?"  
  
Rei walks up to Gendo and actually sports a small smile on her face.  
Commander Ikari had explained numerous times how fun it was to talk to  
him and he was really nice. Now she couldn't help but wonder if it was  
fun to be with Shinji too.  
  
"Just fine, I feel normal."  
  
Gendo nods at this and examines her. She doesn't seem to be any different  
but there is only one way to know for sure.  
  
"Rei, it is time for another session with the dummy plug."  
  
"Hai."  
  
Gendo turns around and gestures for Rei to walk ahead of her. Soon they  
both exit the room and head for the elevator to Terminal Dogma.  
  
------  
  
Rei steps into the cylinder which closes and rapidly fills with LCL.  
She closes her eyes as she has so many times before and tries to reach  
out to her clones.  
  
Ikari stands outside looking in at her.  
  
'Hmm.. If what we fear is true has happened, she might have to be  
replaced.. the project is more important than individual lives..'  
  
Rei is starting to grow puzzled, something was very wrong. It hadn't  
taken her this long to contact the clones since the first time she  
tried. Concentrating even more she strengthens her calling.  
  
Ikari checks a monitor which shows the current sync ratio.  
  
'Hmm.. 0%.. Damn.. I have to keep this from SEELE until I can figure  
out a way to use this...'  
  
Rei suddenly opens her eyes, something is definitely wrong. She can't  
synch with her clones as she has always done! Looking out she can see  
commander Ikari standing there with a concerned look on his face.  
  
-------  
  
Chapter End  
  
-------  
  
What has happened to Rei? Will Gendo 'replace' her? Find out in the  
exciting next episode!  
  
-------  
  
Here is how I perceive Rei:  
  
Rei was created by Gendo and company for the sole purpose of initiating  
third impact. Gendo indoctrinated her her entire life to suppress her  
emotions and thus become his perfect tool. Since it would be stupid to  
make such a weapon without any safeguards he purposefully made sure she  
liked him. As an example just look how she talks to him compared to   
other people. Thus Rei thinks emotions are superfluous and accepts anything  
Gendo tells her as truth. I mean, Gendo couldn't have her refuse Third  
Impact just because she cared for someone right?  
  
She probably carries her emotions on to Shinji because he is Gendo's son.  
Shinji is the only one other than Gendo she shows emotions too.. When  
Asuka badmouths him she actually speaks up..  
  
They cannot activate another clone while one is alive since that clone  
is using part of Lilith's soul to keep it conscious. Attempts at waking  
multiple clones have just ended up with one active one and the rest  
braindead. When Rei dies the soul-part returns to Lilith and can then  
be used for the next clone.   
  
This is just pure speculation on my part but it doesn't seem to clash  
too much with canon NGE but if someone else has a better idea I welcome  
discussing it privately. (don't spam the FFML)  
  
/ Mats Forsén, garnax@lysator.liu.se  
  
  



End file.
